Let Them be BANNED !!!
Friday, March 2nd, 2007The wise
officers in the GREAT GOVERNMENT OF MALAYSIA have recently banned the screening
of 2 made-in-malaysia movies produced by renowed Malaysian directors: Amir
Muhammad’s ‘Apa Khabar Orang Kampung’ And Tsai Ming Liang’s ‘I Don’t Wanna
Sleep Alone’.
The official
reason for banning Tsai’s film is simple: the movie portrays the uglier scene
of Kuala Lumpur, which is in clash of governments’
policy to promote Kuala Lumpur as a ‘beautiful city’ for the ‘2007 Visit
Malaysia Year’ blah blah blah
Although the
films are locally produced, this wasn’t enough in their wise judgement.
Wow, see how
patriotic those officers are !!
Imagine, if
the officers in the west are
as patriotic as Malaysia’s authority……
1. The 2007 Oscar Award Best Picture ‘The Departed’ MUST BE banned and condemmed by the US government. The film depicts the corrupted and power abuse of police, and the screening of this movie will demoralise all the police officers in NYPD and LAPD…
2. Oscar best director winner Martin Scorsese must be arrested by the FBI and sent to GUANTANAMO for suspected collaboration with Al-qaeda and other terrorist links. Most of his movies since the 80’s have been using drugs, violence and sex to diminish the image of US and it’s definitely a plot to bring down the US government…
3. Winner for last year’s Oscar best director Ang Lee must be a Chinese Spy!! Yes, his movie Brokeback Mountain outrageously describes macho and handsome American Cowboys as HOMOSEXUALS! Damm him for making Bush (also a texas cowboy) looks so gay !! The Immigration Department should straight away be deport him to Iran and let him be stoned to death by the people there..
4. The British Spy Agency MI5 should investigate Oscar best actress Helen Mirren for conspiracy against
the Royal Family. In the film The Queen, she portrays Queen Elizabeth as a
stingy and ‘sibuk kay poh mak cik’ !! How dare you!!
As you can Malaysia
see the loyalty and faithfulness of our Malaysian officers is truly
outstanding, and you don’t see these spirits in order country!
Boleh!!
Ironically,
the Real Queen Elizabeth even invited the Fake queen Helen Mirren for tea in
Buckingham. She must be out of her mind…
These Malaysian
directors really stupid la….Kuala Lumpur where got beggers and poor people??? see, our traffic so nice, we got LRT and KTM and KLIA, see our KLCC so nice,
see our streets of many foreign ‘tourists’ from Indonesia and Bangladesh..soooooo
nice u see
Foreign ‘tourists’ waiting their
turn for a ‘Eye-of-Malaysia’ ride
What I suggest
is next time our government must be step up our effort to improve our country’s
image with this AKTA MALAYSIA ‘BOLEH-WOOD’ 2007.
In this
Akta, all made-in-malaysia film must obey the following rule
1.all actors must dress up in tuxedo with a bow tie ( including the DVD sellers on Petaling Street)
2. all actress (including Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Kidman) must dress up in baju kurung or cheong sam or sari, and all elderly mak cik and aunty must dress up in Armani and Prada fashion to look young.
3.all settings must be clean and beautiful with flora and faunas. As this is rarely found in Malaysia,artificial studio settings and fake trees and flowers are most encouraged
4. all actors and actress must smile and not curse ALL THE TIME
5. all producers must use technology to cover up the haze in our skies
6. the ending of the film is best with shoutings of slogans eg Malaysia Boleh!! And with a firework display in KLCC or Dataran Merdeka or putrajaya.
for films which do not follow exactly what is required, must have this warning on their poster :
‘Amaran Oleh Kerajaan Malaysia: CERITA INI TIDAK MENGGAMBARKAN MALAYSIA YANG SEBENAR’
If its too far-streched, just LET THEM BE BANNED!!!
